im still healing, dont make things fall out of place again, i trying hard to be happy and move on, pls dont destroy my efforts by making me fall into places, then leaving me a whole big shit of mess again.im tired of clearing the mess, pls just let me be, just let things flow.
whenever i do something which has got to do with you, i think twice before acting because im tired of getting back all those shit again.
why is it that when i've given up on something, things starts happening again and again, then when i reciprocate i get back those hurt, no, ten times more hurt,it seems like a cycle which keeps coming back to me.
take it that im begging you, please spare me,spare my life.
when i think of the smiles you gave and those conversations you started, my heart is trying to take a step back to get to a clearer picture before responding to it, i've learnt to be quiet and just let things be on its own, im tired of trying too hard.
i hope you understand why im acting this way, because im tired of getting hurt and thinking about it all day.
im starting to get use to times without you because i know its a matter of time you'll be gone, and i think the time is soon.

its hurts losing someone who used to be so close to you, the pain cannot be explained or told till u really experience it, i thought i would be strong enough to overcome all this shit but i was wrong about myself, i cannot and its hurting so much.
life is ironic, when you have something, although u treasure or didnt treasure,eventually you will still lose it. like seasons change,so do people.
i guess it hurts so much because i nvr expected things to turn out this way, i thought i found something which meant forever,but now forever is broken.
the only thing i know now is that we talk so much lesser than last time, i dont expect anything in return, i only want a friendship, a long lasting one. but i doubt things can ever go back as last time, mayb things i do now mayb an irritant to you, i accept it cause i cant change the way you are thinking, or mayb you heard some stuff about me thats why u decided to distant me, whatever the reason it, i nvr regretted having you as my friend.
i admit im weak, i always cry when i lose something.
right now im lost, and i dont know what to do nxt.
and this shit has been going on for months, i dont know how much longer i can hold on to it.
and i guess im prepared losing you anytime from now.